喋喋不休的老人

就是我喇.

剛發現原來上個 post 公司的事在前幾個 post 已講了一篇，新的資料只是我的 direct super 的離去。

我完全唔記得自己講(post)過囉。死得，老人痴呆。

Needless to say, I’m playing with my thumbs having not much to do this week and hence all these posts…

前路茫茫

So my team has been slowly disintegrating over the last year. About 3 senior management left in the first half of the year, one of which is the team leader. There has been no replacement since. And then another intermediate colleague left.

Altho they were in my team but I actually have minimum dealings with them cos I actually belong to a different small group. So the team lead position was temporarily filled by the former team lead in the meantime while they continue to look for replacements. I wouldn’t be happy if I was that interim person because it was almost like a demotion to him.

And guess what, just near the end of the year, this guy resigned. Everyone on the team was like “Hxly SHXT” cos now we are really without a team lead. There was also the worries that the remaining one or two manager in the team is going to go with him.

This departure has a significant impact to me cos technically, this guy belongs to my team. And within my little group, my direct supervisor is the only senior left in the group (well… there’s also one other lady but she’s in 密氏 office so even tho she’s supposed to be my team, I hardly have anything to do with her). There was the worry that there are not enough senior persons around to bring in projects to feed us small potatoes. I was worried but too excessively worried cos I still had my supervisor.

Just as I think everything’s settling down, my supervisor announced his departure right after the xmas break. WHAT THE HECK. He was telling me that there was nothing to worried about before the break. It turned out (according to him) that he was going to announce it before the break but the other guy beat him to it so he felt bad to announce it at the same time so he waited. Holy molly. And now I.AM.WORRIED.

In view of the lack of managers, the upper management divided our team into three small groups, reporting to different managers from other teams. The lady in 密氏 became my manager so technically, she’s going to feed me. However, experience from the past year told me that she doesn’t have enough going on to feed more than one person. She has her own 馬仔 in 密氏. She always told my supervisor that she has something for me to do but it rarely ever happened. Even if there was something, it’s really tiny tasks, basically just to give her own 馬仔 a hand. Anything that she gave me so far could only last 1 week at best and were usually about 1 day worth of work and less (even tho I already kinda drag it out from time to time).

As far as I know, the policy of this mega global company is that they have no problem axing anyone when business is slow. So I’m in a bad situation here. In the remainder of the group, one girl has another project that has another year to run and another boy who has work fed to him from other group so he’s not totally dependant on our group. The 馬仔 in 密氏 still her super to 照住. I am the extra person now.  I am also the most expensive one among the four (I think). If I’m the corporate guy from up there, I would axe myself as well.

When my colleague asked me if I am thinking about leaving when we first got the news, I told her not. I mean, I don’t particularly care about the company but I don’t feel like changing yet. I would like to hang in here for a little longer. May another 2-3 year before I will even think about it.

But two weeks after that conversation, my attitude has changed. I can see more clearly that unless they manage to hire some more senior staff or someone that lady in 密氏 magically conjures up some more work that her own 馬仔食唔哂, I’m quite doomed otherwise. So I’ve started to look, keeping my eyes out. 先下手為強. 無奶油白白坐喺度等死.

I am not too desperate yet so I’m only look at the places that I am really interested in at the moment. Needless to say, there weren’t too much there but I just have to keep going back and check in case something pops up. 騎牛搵馬咁啦. Just hope that I can land on something before I turn into a floating buoy.

My super has indicated that he might bring me over with him once he has settled in nicely with the new place. Already asked me for my CV and such. I know he does like working with me. He’s the one who dragged me into this company in the first place. But then, who knows how true that is. Verbal promises doesn’t count much in modern days. And even if he has the intention, if he is unable to settle ‘nicely’, he will not be able to bring me over. Even if he can, who know how long it’s gonna take. And maybe there's already some capable ppl over there that they don’t need no more. I don’t mind working with him again. He’s a good dude. I understand that he has to do what’s best for him and his family but I can’t help but feeling a bit betrayed. In any case, until something’s actually set into motion, I can’t count on this promise. Well.. it’s not even a promise, it’s more like a merely suggestion that it might possibly, potentially happen.

There are also a few back up plans for desperate times. When I say “desperate”, I really mean it. I don’t want to even attempt those back ups unless I’m pretty much 走頭無路. But it’s kinda comforting to at least think that I have backup.

For now, I’m still hanging in here, hoping for some good tidings.

Fermat’s Last Theorem

The book that I read recently. Actually read it back in 2013 but didn’t have a chance to put my thoughts together till now.

Actually, thanks to 子華, that I’m reading, or even knowing, this book at all.

This is the 3rd book that I’ve read because of 子華. The first one was a book called “Girlfriend in Coma”, back in my high school days. I took me a lot of effort to read that book since I didn’t read much back then and that was a pretty tough one for me to go through, especially with my poor English.

The second is 余秋雨的 "山居筆記", another one of those books that I probably wouldn’t even touch otherwise.

But I enjoyed these two books. Not because of 子華，but genuinely enjoyed them.

Back to Fermat’s Last Theorem. I found it very very interesting. It’s a Math-related story. I have always had a bit of pure math 情意結，even tho I turned out to be an engineer (applied math). I enjoyed doing math homework just for the sake of doing them. I always think that I probably wouldn’t be an engineer if I didn’t grow up in HK. I still rmb that back when I needed to rank my choices in my uni application. The ‘good’ choices for science students were doctor and engineer. But what I actually wanted to do was physics. 當年俾同學丙，話 physics 畢業無用，physics 用黎墊底，入唔到其他先入 physics. 另一尚算有興趣而又都算係 engin 既科目就係 ACE。Can’t even rmb what it stands for anymore, some sort of automation engineering. 記得 open day 既時候見到佢哋整 robot, 但那個當時是新 department, 又係無乜前景，香港無人會造機械人。At the end，首選了人人都爭的 double E, 但除此之外，我真係唔知揀乜好，於是第二已經揀咗無前景既 ACE, 第三已經係 phy, 仲記得其餘既都係求祈填吓，反正我都知如果連無乜人揀既 phy 都入唔到，都應該唔洗點讀。

最後，根本就無喺香港升學，報多大時是扮有大志的揀了 engin, 否則人家才不會給你奬學金。但讀咗一年，已經好有轉科既衝動，想讀 astron, 還去了人家的 astron lecture 去聽聽，睇吓係咪真係想讀，又去咗書局睇人哋Ｄ textbook, 但最後又係驚俾人 cut 奬學金而無做到。讀咗一年俾人 cut 咗無錢讀落去，到時真係要食屎。

Anyway, 其實讀咗都未必好，不過就係因為無讀到，而家就成日都 what if… 太多 romantic 既幻想。

Well… back to the book again. So reading Fermat’s Last Theorem is really cool cos when I did math, I learned the … well… math… and sometimes the name of the theorem (which I didn’t really care and couldn’t rmb most of the time) but never the story and the history behind it. In the book, there were lots of mathematician names that 喚起 some of my high school and university memories. And it’s kinda cool to know now that which person belongs to which era and which country and that some of them were acquaintance, rivals or friends. It’s really neat.

I haven’t touched pure math for so many years now. Some of the examples and proves that were presented in the book (the author did a good job in explaining things so that even lay person can understand the math so even tho I haven’t got much practice for a long time, I was still able to follow the steps) made me feel like I’m back in school, learning math again. The nostalgia feeling, bitter and sweet. And I do kinda agree that mathematicians (at least some of them) are seeking something more pure then science. It is the pure logic and it is beautiful when the logic comes together.

If math is something that you enjoy, you may want to read this book.

Savory Muffins

And in October, we made our first savory muffins. A first for both of us. This is a bit of a cheat tho cos we didn't make them from scratch. It's a muffin mix.

Still yummy and perfectly easy for 小Ｊto make.

Banana Bread

J's first banana bread. Well.. this was actually back in July. Just didn't have time to post it.

Looks good and tasted good.