前路茫茫

So my team has been slowly disintegrating over the last year. About 3 senior management left in the first half of the year, one of which is the team leader. There has been no replacement since. And then another intermediate colleague left.

Altho they were in my team but I actually have minimum dealings with them cos I actually belong to a different small group. So the team lead position was temporarily filled by the former team lead in the meantime while they continue to look for replacements. I wouldn’t be happy if I was that interim person because it was almost like a demotion to him.

And guess what, just near the end of the year, this guy resigned. Everyone on the team was like “Hxly SHXT” cos now we are really without a team lead. There was also the worries that the remaining one or two manager in the team is going to go with him.

This departure has a significant impact to me cos technically, this guy belongs to my team. And within my little group, my direct supervisor is the only senior left in the group (well… there’s also one other lady but she’s in 密氏 office so even tho she’s supposed to be my team, I hardly have anything to do with her). There was the worry that there are not enough senior persons around to bring in projects to feed us small potatoes. I was worried but too excessively worried cos I still had my supervisor.

Just as I think everything’s settling down, my supervisor announced his departure right after the xmas break. WHAT THE HECK. He was telling me that there was nothing to worried about before the break. It turned out (according to him) that he was going to announce it before the break but the other guy beat him to it so he felt bad to announce it at the same time so he waited. Holy molly. And now I.AM.WORRIED.

In view of the lack of managers, the upper management divided our team into three small groups, reporting to different managers from other teams. The lady in 密氏 became my manager so technically, she’s going to feed me. However, experience from the past year told me that she doesn’t have enough going on to feed more than one person. She has her own 馬仔 in 密氏. She always told my supervisor that she has something for me to do but it rarely ever happened. Even if there was something, it’s really tiny tasks, basically just to give her own 馬仔 a hand. Anything that she gave me so far could only last 1 week at best and were usually about 1 day worth of work and less (even tho I already kinda drag it out from time to time).

As far as I know, the policy of this mega global company is that they have no problem axing anyone when business is slow. So I’m in a bad situation here. In the remainder of the group, one girl has another project that has another year to run and another boy who has work fed to him from other group so he’s not totally dependant on our group. The 馬仔 in 密氏 still her super to 照住. I am the extra person now.  I am also the most expensive one among the four (I think). If I’m the corporate guy from up there, I would axe myself as well.

When my colleague asked me if I am thinking about leaving when we first got the news, I told her not. I mean, I don’t particularly care about the company but I don’t feel like changing yet. I would like to hang in here for a little longer. May another 2-3 year before I will even think about it.

But two weeks after that conversation, my attitude has changed. I can see more clearly that unless they manage to hire some more senior staff or someone that lady in 密氏 magically conjures up some more work that her own 馬仔食唔哂, I’m quite doomed otherwise. So I’ve started to look, keeping my eyes out. 先下手為強. 無奶油白白坐喺度等死.

I am not too desperate yet so I’m only look at the places that I am really interested in at the moment. Needless to say, there weren’t too much there but I just have to keep going back and check in case something pops up. 騎牛搵馬咁啦. Just hope that I can land on something before I turn into a floating buoy.

My super has indicated that he might bring me over with him once he has settled in nicely with the new place. Already asked me for my CV and such. I know he does like working with me. He’s the one who dragged me into this company in the first place. But then, who knows how true that is. Verbal promises doesn’t count much in modern days. And even if he has the intention, if he is unable to settle ‘nicely’, he will not be able to bring me over. Even if he can, who know how long it’s gonna take. And maybe there's already some capable ppl over there that they don’t need no more. I don’t mind working with him again. He’s a good dude. I understand that he has to do what’s best for him and his family but I can’t help but feeling a bit betrayed. In any case, until something’s actually set into motion, I can’t count on this promise. Well.. it’s not even a promise, it’s more like a merely suggestion that it might possibly, potentially happen.

There are also a few back up plans for desperate times. When I say “desperate”, I really mean it. I don’t want to even attempt those back ups unless I’m pretty much 走頭無路. But it’s kinda comforting to at least think that I have backup.

For now, I’m still hanging in here, hoping for some good tidings.